Wednesday, February 27, 2013

10 Day Challenge - Day Two

So, yes – day two.

This time I write about my nine loves.

Nine loves of my life (currently)

1. Family. My family does not really refer to blood relations. The definition of family for me includes those
people who accept me as I am and whom I enjoy spending time with. My immediate blood-related family, husband, daughter, in-laws, cousins and friends.
2. Smell of books. Especially old ones from second-hand book store.
3. Book shops. Kinda continuing from the earlier one, I love to be in a book stall. Those few moments, I spend looking through the books, trying to select one, reading their blurbs…they make me happy. Like, as in, bliss.
4. Cooking, baking. From someone who never entered the kitchen to even place an used glass/plate in the sink, to being someone who enjoys cooking is a remarkable change. Today, I love trying new recipes, experimenting with baking and much more. Am just glad I found another element of life that keeps me happy.

5. McFlurry...McFlurry...McFlurry....
6. Dancing. Dancing transports me to another world. The inner one, I mean. Grooving to music and tapping my feet comes as part of my body functioning, I guess. And I love it!
7. The love for self. Yes, I love myself. I take care of myself first before I can do the same for someone else. I learnt this lesson the hard way. And quite late in life. But am glad I did. Better late than never. So, today – I know, only if I am happy can I keep others truly happy and love them whole heartedly. Yes, I can go about doing my chores as a daughter, sister, wife and mother without being happy myself. But I’d never be true about it. My soul wouldn’t be in it.
8. Communicating. Talking. Writing. I just need to do this to be able to live. I cannot even exist without these, I guess.
9. Smell of the earth after the first shower of rain….aah! Isn’t that just bliss??
So, now for the next topic. Tomorrow, maybe? Or day after?
:) Keep smiling.

Monday, February 25, 2013

10-Day Challenge - Day One

Nice, bright Monday morning.

And I have chosen to take on a ten-day challenge. Hoping, it will keep me writing ;)

So, here’s the first topic.
Ten secrets.

Aah, a forum to document my secrets, eh? Yes, will do this. As I grow, I realize there is really no need of too many secrets. So, let me try this.

1. I hope to write and publish a book – Aah! This is long-time wish…

2. I hate doing the dishes – For the past few years, I enjoy cooking. Much of an accomplishment for a lady who was a lazy teenager. However, I hate touching the dishes in the sink.

3. Sometime, I wonder if I have gained weight – This is a very mild scenario though. Now, and then I wonder if I have gained weight. But then, I soon get over the worry.

4. I can make people feel guilty and hope that the earth swallows them – Aah, talk about my fury! I have come to learn something about myself in the past few years. I can forgive, but I do not forget. That is just the way I am wired. So, if someone pushes me to the corner, I can just line up the past and you’d wanna run from the face of the earth!

5. I have a gypsy soul – Yes. Really. I mean this. I wonder how I am living in a house with my hubby and daughter over-powering the need for change and new experiences. I mean, I love them. They are my life. But there is a part of me that needs constant new experience.

6. I want to be a performer – Read dance. I simply love dance. Being up on a stage gives me a high. I do not drink but I can imagine how ‘high’ feels! So, yes – I hope to get back on stage one day.

7. I am in love with McFlurry (Oreo) – Discovery of Mc Flurry – an iconic event of my life! Need I say more?

8. I am in love with Istanbul, a place I have never been to – Yes. Never seen the place. But I am in love. And I think, thanks to Elif Shafak.

9. I want to have four children, but will settle two – Ssshhh…infact I’d have many more, if I had the money . I do not want to bring them on and not be able to provide them. So, yes. Two children and we should be able to do a good job of it.

10. I am slowly beginning to not make mountain efforts to keep in touch with friends who do not make much effort. And yes, one more… - This is a sad lesson I learnt. Sad, I feel. But I need to de-clutter. As we de-clutter wardrobes, cabinets – I feel I need to de-clutter my space too. So, for those who cannot make the effort – I assume you are happy and I let you be.

11. I love making friends from the virtual world. All my previous e-friendships have been nice ones. – Oh yes! When a few fear e-friendships, I absolutely love them. A random talk with a stranger in a public chat room. Being able to share some far-flung thoughts and feelings, without being judged or sans the fear of any after effects…it is nice sometimes. Though it has been almost 10 years since I’ve done this now!

Thursday, February 14, 2013

To, Kuki - The V-day


Today is February 14th. The most hyped-about day of the year. As you might by now (when you are reading this) know what V stands for. Valentine. The history relates this day to more than one saint with the name Valentine or Valentinus as recognized by the Catholic Church and with some connections to the Roman tradition.

Although this day has more than one version of historical background, in our age this day is a day of Romance. Yeah, some connection to the word Roman, at the least!

To me, today is definitely a V-day. But on a topic at a slight tangent. This year, women in different parts of the world seem to be rising as a part of the One Billion Rising initiative. And I’d like to rise. By thinking. Talking. And I’d like to talk to you. Not as your mother, but as a fellow woman.

a. If you cannot love yourself, no one else can so truly.

I do not say, do not enjoy this day. If a guy(s) gives you a flower, card, poem and say they have feelings for you. Smile inside. Be happy, enjoy the feeling. But remember, you do not have to have the same feelings for them by default. Enjoy the flower, card and poem. And if no one gives you these, then gift yourself. Buy yourself flowers and cards. Go out to a restaurant and have a nice lunch. Or buy yourself a coffee and a book. Or, just do anything that will bring a smile on your face.
Hope you grow up to realize and understand that you do not always need someone else to keep you happy as a person. Yes, this is easier said than done. So, I hope you realize this sometime soon.

b. If you cannot help yourself, no one else can.

Kuki, dress up to look beautiful, in your own eyes. Be humble. Love yourself. Learn to say no. The last one is a tough ask, but I hope you learn it. If your gut feeling is no to something, go by it. Keeping others happy might not give you sound sleep. But having a happy soul - that will get you through the dark. Learn to stand up and fight for yourself. For what you think is right. And I hope I get to teach you what is right ;). But yes, do that. Everyone might not agree, including me. But that is fine. If you have faith in what you stand up for, that is half the work done.

c. If you cannot forgive yourself, no amount of forgiveness is worth it.

Remember, people will always talk. They will help you feel miserable and ok-ish. But it is on you to be sparky, smiley and all sunshine. Yes, be the sunshine in other people’s life. Smile at your household helpers, housekeeping people, friends, teachers, colleagues, shop keepers. You have nothing to lose by smiling. Respect others’ lives and circumstances. Forgive little errors. Forget, if you can.

d. If you cannot trust yourself, no one else can.

Learn to trust. Yourself and others. If A, B and C let you down, give D a chance. Life would be brighter if you are ready to trust and take the risk. Than relying on the past, not trusting and living a sad life. During this process, learn from mistakes. Please, make mistakes.
Erring is a journey that will take you to multiple destinations. One, a learnt lesson. Two, lotsa fun moments to treasure. Three, the benefit of courage. Coz you will then know, it is ok to make mistakes. But please be ready to forgive yourself and pick yourself up.

e. If you cannot keep resolutions, do not make promises.

Never let anyone walk over you. And for that, love yourself first. Before you love anyone. Kuki, no one can hurt you unless you give them the power to. Help others. Love others. Forgive others. But before all that, help yourself. Love yourself and forgive yourself. Make promises to yourself and keep them. As I see it, resolutions are promises we make to ourselves. If you can’t keep promises to yourself, how can you keep them for others?

I say all this because, today we talk of violence against women. And I wish every mother, sister, teacher told their daughter, sister, student to love themselves and stand up for themselves. World might have been a better place.
Love, R

Monday, February 11, 2013

To, Kuki


Do you want me to write ‘dear’? You know you are. :)

Today is your third birthday. This also means I have completed three years of motherhood.

So, I think I will write to you. And hopefully, keep writing to you. You can start reading whenever you might be ready.

This one is about me, Kuki. About the things I have learnt and unlearnt growing up with you.

Lesson Learnt 1: My happiness depends on you. I have always been this person who needs to do things. Different things. On different days. To be happy. But now, you seem to be the trigger for me. If all is well and I think you will be fine without me, then I go about doing it. I keep aside some tasks when I figure you might not be comfortable.

Lesson Unlearnt 1: Something I never realized I learnt, in the first place. My belief in miracles. From the day you came into my life, I have considered you one. Today, I seem to believe in it more than I did when you weren’t around. Thank you, God, for this little miracle.

Lesson Learnt 2: I am not so strong when it comes to letting you away from my sight. I wonder, all the while, if you are fine and if you miss me. The latter is not necessary, though it would make me feel like a queen. But yes, I need the knowledge that you are in safe hands.

Lesson Unlearnt 2: The fact that I am an adult and cannot be a child. Being a child is about seeing through your eyes. It is about sitting down or lying down to see things, in the room, from your point of view. Today, life is all about looking at things differently for me. A little like Rashmi, a little like a parent and a little like you.

Lesson Learnt 3: I love holding you most just after you are up from your sleep in the bed. I like holding you with your cheek against mine.

Lesson Unlearnt 3: I have reassessed some of the past lessons. Not because they do not matter to me or not because I needed to. Being with you has evolved me, as a person and I seem to revisit the past and reassess. This has only made me a better human.

Lesson Learnt 4: I kind of dislike having rhymes and cartoons on television all the time. J But I shall cope. Find a way around. For you.

Lesson Unlearnt 4: I can teach you what to be and what not to be. That I can preach and bring you around.

Lesson Learnt 5: I can only show you. Be an example of either 1) what to be 2) what not to be.

Lesson Unlearnt 5: I can find ways to do things when you are asleep or playing. That will never happen. I am now discovering ways to do every other thing with you.

Will make a note of more lessons as we go past years.

Love, R

Keeping alive

Just so that, this one does not die.